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Ma. Rosita “Apple” Gonora
April 4, 2017
April 4, 2017
Good morning/afternoon.
My name is Apple, since the day I was born I belong in a religious family and I am also a 100% scholar in a school under the provision of my grandmother who serves in that church.
And because of that I was devoted in leading prayer gatherings and many more religious activities. But then I just do that for the sake of my grandmother “pasakay”.
Yes, I am a happy person but behind that happy face I have experience verbal abuse, bullied by my male classmates in high school, physically abuse by my father, and sexually abuse by our neighbor, I also attempted to commit suicide.
I’m a person whom you may call KSP not kulang sa pansin but “Kulang sa Pagpalangga” which resulted to bitterness, hatred, jealousy and pride.
I became a sadist person, which means I derive pleasure, from inflicting pain or humiliation on others. And also, a masochist one, which means I find pleasure in self-denial and is gratified by pain and it makes me happy.
Back in my year of college 2nd year to be exact, October 2014 I was invited by a “special friend” of mine to attend their church service at Cineplex 2nd floor namely His Life Ministries and I was urge to come with him because I really want to try new things but a little bit other motive.
But the first time I came I felt special and perfectly welcome as what their tagline says where imperfect people are perfectly welcome and when Nang Ria approach me, I felt comfortable and that made me cry as if where that close.
As time pass by I started to go in the church and know the other members especially their pastor, Pastor Eric and he told me to be in the Worship Team but then I was shock because I’m not use in singing especially in front of many people. Nadugayan pa sang nagdecide ko mag Crossover mga 1 year, January 30, 2016 I received God as my Personal Savior and after that I don’t know how happy I am and ang abi ko nga wala may gapalangga sakun was proved by God who sent His Son for me at the cross. Amu ya ko na gali kapalangga and I was thankful gid ya and I cried to tears na I don’t deserve it but then wala pili si Lord palangga ya gid ko ya.
I joined the worship team, and after that I realized more things, that worshipping God is not only just every Sunday but every day and everywhere we go because we are called to worship Him.
In my family, many of my relatives keep on making stories that I can’t finish my college and I will be like other girl getting pregnant and I was losing hope hearing those words and was about to give. But then with God’s grace, I graduated last March 28, 2017 and prove them wrong because I know it is for God’s glory that I’ve finish and can help my parents as well.
I learned to forgive those people who have hurt me, it’s not too late to forgive someone, to change for good and to know God and accept Him in your life. I can tell that God is my Warrior because I will never finish this fight without the strength and hope He has given me as His beloved daughter.
I am Ma. Rosita T. Gonora, saying “I am not just blessed, I am not just renewed but for sure I am called to belong to Jesus. “
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Naphtalie Paulle Betia
March 16. 2019
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Naphtalie Paulle Betia
March 16. 2019
Have you ever wondered when is the right time to surrender?
Or when should we stop holding on?
Moving on and letting go has been my constant battle since I hold on to my principles tightly and been selfish to survive; I used to live by this quote, in order to survive in this selfish world, you have to be selfish.
I grew up in a broken family.
Growing up then I’ve seen myself being in the custody of different people.
Every time my parents fought; I would close my eyes waiting for the first person to pick me up. That person would always be my mother; she will take me with her but she will eventually leave me to her friends, her siblings and her neighbors. Leaving me with this promise, “Ga mabalik lang ko”. I hold on to her words but that awhile turn into hours, into days, into weeks and even into month. Then she returns, picks me up as if nothing happens and brought me back to my father. During those times I never knew what was right from wrong all I could remember were the faces of people who sexually molested and physically abused my youth.
I’ve witness sin committed over sin: adultery, lies, pornography and drug addiction. I never rallied for what they were doing; I was just there witnessing my own version of cartoons and child play. All I had then were blurry memories of being loved and being home. What keeps me going then is seeing the bravery of my father who constantly reminded me to never foster hate in my heart. I never spoke about what I’ve been through fearing that I might messed up my family. I knew that there was God and I was baptized when I was 12 but never understood the whole thing about him; in short, I took Him for granted. I was in elementary when I first asked him “Lord why are you allowing this to happen?”
I graduated from my elementary when my sister decided to sell everything we had here in Bacolod and moved to Iloilo. We got separated from my mother and my brother. We started a new life there once again. I tried to be the best I could possibly be; I’ve excelled both in academics and other curricular activities. I tried my all to bring happiness and pride to my family.
After two years my mother went to my school and searched for me. There and then she told me this “Ga pasensya, Ma-bag o nako”. I forgave and accepted her with all that I have left but eventually she broke that promise and left me once again. I had this huge fight with my brother and physically battered me but my father took his stand to protect my brother and told me “Ikaw and my alam, ikaw ang kabalo kag ikaw ang may ara siya ya ang kalu-oy” I took those words against me and took it negatively. At that moment I embraced anger from the person who inspires me not to hate.
I was angry with them, I felt I was betrayed and continually being betrayed by my own family. Remember the brother of the prodigal son? I felt that time that I was in his stand. I did my best to be a good daughter I gave my all for family to be proud of me but I never experience reciprocation of my obedience, hard work and dedication.
I once promised myself never ever to be like them but along the way I was becoming like them. Once again, another separation happened when my sister and I moved back to Bacolod to have a new start. But during that time, I could feel the deep excavation of emptiness is getting wider in my heart. I was longing for love and acceptance however I managed to act and live normally.
But I was so different than I was before. Behind the fasçade of purity, excellence and obedience is a mess up child. I tried to suppress every emotion I had.
I constantly search for answers to cover up the void I was experiencing. A Youth leader from a church near our village keeps on hunting me with her jolly approach. Despite of her kindness I always mock her “Nga ma amo gd na, Ininto ah” Since I don’t have tolerance for long conversation and her jolly personality, I always find a way out to hide from her. She tried winning me but I wasn’t willing to surrender. But never did I realize that my suppression is turning into depression. I thought I was just living along the trend; I was harming myself with blades, knives, ball pens and any sharp objects. I never lash out my anger to anyone; I took every pain on my own arms. I embrace the darkness of introversion.
The words of my father kepts on resonating in my mind “Ikaw and my alam, ikaw ang kabalo kag ikaw ang may ara siya ya ang kalu-oy” I felt I never had the right to seek for help. Despite of that I always talk to the Lord, I hated Him but he is the only person I am capable to talk to.
There were no nights that I never cried to God to take my life because I’m so tired. Finally, before graduating in High School I decided to end everything and committed suicide. I was then afraid to die but I just needed to shout for help and that was the only way I knew.
I saw my father embracing me and helplessly pleading for my forgiveness that I couldn’t surrender. They rushed me to the hospital and send me to a psychiatrist to ask for medical help. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was under a medication for a few months. Yes, it did help. It helped me calm down and be just indifferent. After few months of medication my indifference was way more destructive than my anger.
I was remorseless with my life; I justified my deeds for what I’ve been through. I fall into great sins to fill the void. The constant search for answers in this world led me to my pit fall. I was into alcoholism; I could never sleep without having a dose of any alcoholic drinks. I was fond of meeting and being friends to those who are like me empty and godless. I’ve been into groups who are into gang and marijuana. I’ve been into immoral relationship. I’ve had been my worst in my emptiness.
I was in high school when I ask him again “Lord akig kana sakon?”.
I continued to live my sinful ways as it becomes my lifestyle. A lifestyle that is unbeknownst to closest friends, teachers and family. As what my family would usually think of my whereabouts were for school purposes but I was actually embracing the otherwise. They see me as a fine woman but then again, the latter is incorrect for, I am not. I was then consumed by my anger especially to my brother. An eye for eye; a tooth for tooth, with all my grudges I always seek for vengeance. Added to this when my sister migrated to US the emptiness continues to grow big that it distorts all hope, love and values I had. My sister who stands as my mother left me too. Unlikely lifestyle grew its roots deeper, I wasted my life even more since no one is monitoring me. My anxiety attacks visit me more often. Since I stopped from drinking my medication, I was drawn into Pain killers. From 500mg, 1000mg up to 2000mg pain killers I took to put my anxiety at ease. I drugged myself of pain relievers. Then one day my sins are gradually taking all what I thought I could manage. People whom I thought to be my friends betrayed me, I got broken hearted, my family is even more broken because of the constant physical clashes between me and my brother and lastly, I was in 3rd year when I fail the course I was pursuing in college.
Everything in my life was broken. I was becoming a monster. I cried as to the person I have become in my search for answer. But Going to the Lord was never part of my list. I hated the church, I hated people of the church and I hate pastors. But I cannot deny the fact that I still couldn’t find the answer. During that time my heart and my mind were not at peace. I tried to draw myself into vices to cover it up, still, it manages to wrestle in my mind. I stopped; I needed another way out. There and then I entered to a prayer house, I went there not to pray but bombard the lord with questions. I visit as often as I can. Eventually I never settled to it and planned a road trip hoping for what they called as soul searching.
But I saw this His Life Poster and was convinced to attend their service.
Growing up being constantly betrayed, I find being vulnerable as a weakness. I didn’t trust anyone. How can God change someone like me? Will there ever be someone willing to accept me? If I surrender who will fight for me? At that moment my spirit and my flesh were brawling inside until I found myself on my knees and asking God to forgive me for all that I have done “Lord I mess up big time, I am wasted, I am sinner and I am no longer the woman you designed me to be. Lord will you still accept me?” the Lord answered me through his words in Romans 5:8 God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – God loved me when I couldn’t love myself. And in Jeremiah 1:5 before I formed you I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. God has given me a purpose to live. It was that time I raised my flag and surrendered my fight. I rest my case to the Lord. Through tita glenda I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior. The void in my life was never answered by the world’s approval; it was filled and over flowingly filled by the Love of Christ.
July 2017, I was introduced to this woman wearing a pastel apple green blouse with blue cardigan and in her ma-ong jeans. She was very prim and proper but she was the otherwise.
That is Christel Ann Labrinao my life group leader, once again her name is C-H-R-I-S-T-E-L A-N-N L-A-B-R-I-N-A-O (she is MY life group leader). If you happen to watch the vlog of the Sankai brothers, she is my own version of Fumiya.
She is handling a feeding program, not just for physical but for my spiritual growth and maturity. I stand here before you because a woman of God through manang Christel helped me to find confidence from the Lord.
No amount of anti-anxiety or anti-depressant could ever over power the peace that God could give my heart. The process didn’t go easy as it is, I know I made her struggle with my inhibitions and hesitations but she persisted. She guided me through my walk in knowing God. She never gave up in pushing and supporting me in all of my endeavors. And she is one of the most beautiful gifts I received when I surrendered my life to God. I didn’t just find a LG leader but I did find a family in Christ. When my past is condemning, she constantly reminding me of 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! The old pao who is so timid, hateful, anti-social, anxious, depressed and living for her own purpose is now gone; the new pao who now found the purpose that God designed for her to be is here. I thank the lord for the life of my brothers and sisters in His life south that encourages me in my walk with God. I learned to forgive my family and the people who hurt me. After 7 years I am now civilly talking to my brother and I know God is still working in restoring my family. I am now living away from my vices. Currently I am joyfully serving the ministry of God. Indeed, God is changing me from glory to glory. What you have heard about are but snippets of how great and marvelous my God has been so far, there are a lot more things I definitely would love to share with you—the beautiful ways of God unravelling more of His grace, love and joy for me is something that the time allotted for me to share may not be enough. But we can surely talk. I was the impossible in my story but that cross eradicates all the impossibility in my life. I am no longer afraid of being vulnerable for my Christ delivered my fear and shame away. I am no longer a slave of fear.
I am Naphtalie Paulle Betia, 24 years old and I am a child of God. To God be the glory!
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Marie April Castillo
March 23, 2019
My name is Marie April Castillo, 29 years old, grew up in Cebu and stayed there for 26 years. I’m a single mother with 8 years old daughter. Before I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and savior I was driven by own freewill and fleshly desires. Growing up in the early years of my childhood, I can say that I have already experienced the challenges that lives brings; when I was in my mother’s womb, I was an unwanted, unexpected and unplanned child. That was my mother told me when I was 3 months old in her womb before she knew that I exist. Due to financial problems and some other family issues my parents always have an argument. When I was 6 months old after I was born, my mother left me, she brought with him my brother instead of me who needed a mother the most .She wanted to give up her relationship with my father but my father pursued her to come back and so she did come back. But still their arguments about money became worst. Me hearing this story from my mother deeply hurt me as her daughter. Imagine what a 6 months old baby could do without a mother to take good care of her, and I felt that I don’t deserve to be treated as such. So, as time went by not knowing that I started to be resentful to my mother and I can feel the rejection of my mother towards me so I always find a way to make her proud to gain her acceptance just to pleased her. But it made me become less confident towards people, I always think of myself less and full of insecurities. My parents are into business in the security industry because of their dedication and hard work it flourished and prospered. Because of the demands and pressure of the business and the desire to provide well with us and give us a better life both of them are too busy to the point that they are struggling to spend time with us and worst have no time to go to church. To compensate their absence, they all provided our needs and wants. But I’m longing for something that money can’t buy, I felt discontented, unloved, insecure and lonely. I started to explore the world alone hoping that I could find that contentment, love and security that I’m longing for. When I was in my college years, I started in a way to be independent. With my parents’ proper consent, trust and financial support I got to live far away from them to pursue my dream to become a Nurse. I saw the world in a different point of view, I got to meet different kind of people from the simplest, liberated and matured people of my age. To bring honor to my parent’s trust and financial support , in my first three years in college I was focused on my studies and not failing my subjects that sometimes led me to compromise just in order to pass my exams with the thought that its ok because most my friends are doing it. I was also influenced by my peers to drink alcohol and do immoral acts just to have a place where I belong and gain their acceptance even to the point of losing my identity. Through this fleshly desire I thought I already found what I was longing for but I still felt that discontentment and loneliness that I’ve been hiding at the back of the laughter and smiles when I’m with my friends. In the later part of my college years I met my very first formal boyfriend, I lost my focus on my studies and engage into pre-marital sex that I thought the love and security I was longing for can be found. After 8 months of that relationship I got pregnant in the midst of my review in taking my board exam in nursing. I got excited because it’s been always a desire for me to have a baby but I wasn’t expecting it will happen that early. With me and my partner being still immature to handle the responsibility I got so scared that came to a point of a thought of not keeping the baby. But through a Christian cousin she enlightened me on what to do, she told me that “wala sala ang bata, and a child is always a blessing from God”. So, with my fear to the Lord and in my experience as unwanted child I don’t want my child to experience the same way. From that moment on I kept my faith that everything will be alright that I will provide the love and care she deserves that has been deprived to me. So, I did everything to become the best mother I could be, I kept the relationship with his father and tried to work things out even though my family are against with it. I set aside my carrier as a nurse even if already passed the board that made my parents so frustrated and disappointed, I worked hard in our business so I can easily manage my time while taking good care of my child. But everything just doesn’t seem to go the way I want it to be. My Daughter’s father got involved t drugs that led his family to put him in rehabilitation facility, my daughter is always in and out of the hospital, my relationship with my family got even worse because we are too focused on the business. Then one day I cried out to the Lord. “kapoy naku Lord, I don’t know what to do anymore, I can’t do this own, I need You”. I asked the Lord to led me to people who will understand my struggles. The next day a friend invited me to a seminar called Christian Life Program under a ministry called Handmaids of the Lord. Without hesitation I attended the seminar and their I got to share my struggles as a single mother and they led me to the Lord. Slowly I regained my strength through them but deep inside of me there is still something that I really long for so I started to have a deep relationship with the Lord but never understand my motivation of that relationship. I got active to the ministry but after 1 year, being confident that I’m already with the Lord and with the desire that my daughter will not grow up without a father I decided to give another one more chance to my relationship with her father. With him being in the rehab for quite a long time, I thought he became already a changed mature man, ready to take his full responsibility as a father and a partner and thought I can make him change for the better. So, without consulting the Lord i decided to move in with him after he was discharged from the rehab facility. My parents weren’t sure about my decision but I convinced them to give us another chance to build our family. I informed my household leader about my decision and convinced her that nothing will happen to us until we get married. But then the spirit is willing but flesh is weak. My household leader asked me to lead a group but I told her I was living in sin at that time that I don’t deserve to be one. I lie low to the ministry but I asked the Lord to hold on to me and never let go of me, My spirit was in sorrow , I can feel that I was experiencing hell at that time, but with my own strength I still keep fighting for what I thought was right. My daughters father got into drugs again in the middle of the “tokhang” days. It really made me worried and my parents are already affected to. I had sleepless nights, my finances declined, my health declined and my relationship with God was very cloudy. Everything doesn’t seem to go the way I want it to be. Then one day I begged and cried to the Lord, to pull me out in the situation that I chose to be in. That, I don’t want to live in sin anymore. The next day my father visited me and told me if I’m interested to go to Bacolod to take over our business. At first, I was hesitant because my daughter might get affected of being away again to her father, but then I was reminded by my prayer. It was October 2016 with my heart full of doubts, confusion, anxieties of what will happen when I go to Bacolod, by faith I decided to go here in Bacolod together with my daughter. It was so difficult at first, being away with my family, with all separation anxiety, the adjustment in the language, culture and the environment. But God is so faithful that everything we need was provided food, shelter and everything to make our life better. I felt the spiritual dryness so I started praying to the Lord to led me to people or into the ministry that could help me grow spiritually, revive and restore my relationship with Him. It was late march 2017 as I was using the rest room here in the cinema for the first time someone gave me an invitation of a church service. I just kept that invitation on my wallet and by faith I attended the service without any single person that I know. It was April 15, 2017, without knowing they have a special feature of Dolphy Quezon Jr’s life testimony. I got so inspired and touched by his story that I responded to his altar call and can’t explain why I’m crying my heart out. From that moment on by faith, I decided to fully surrender my life to the Lord by accepting Jesus as my personal Lord and savior. I became a regular church goer and one Sunday I wrote a letter together my giving envelope that I want to be part of a discipleship group. God was so amazing, instantly He answered my prayer. As I was to leave the premises of the church, someone approached me and invited me to sit down and be part of her disciples. It really helped me a lot in my Cristian walk to grow more deeper in my relationship with God being in a discipleship group. I’m so blessed with my LG leader, the church leaders and to our Pastor who are really eager and willing pour out the word of God at their best to help me grow and the best part of all they became my 2nd family here in Bacolod. And with my willingness and desire to grow more spiritually, I undergone all the Cross courses in His Life Ministries and graduated LGT the same year. I got baptized last October 2017 during Bacolod for Jesus. Today I’m already leading beautiful women as my disciples, sharing God’s word and my testimony of God’s faithfulness and goodness in my life. By God’s amazing grace, Slowly God is restored my identity as her Princess, me as a mother of my daughter and restored my relationship with my family especially to my mother who was really against of me changing my Christian beliefs to the point that she wants to disowned me as her daughter but with love, obedience and by faith to follow God’s will for me I persevere and keep the faith through prayers by fulfilling God’s great commission through house churches and being part of different ministries. My mother who was once persecuted me is already one my supporter in my walk with the Lord. I’m Marie April Castillo once unwanted but now found my identity in Christ, according to Jeremiah 1:5 5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew[a] you, before you were born I set you apart; I have already found what my spirit is longing for through Jesus: the contentment, joy, love and security. Once driven by fleshly desires but now faith driven to finish the race, and fought the good fight with the Lord through His Son Jesus Christ. To God be all the Glory
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Edremel Maribo
March 8, 2019
I am Edremel Maribo, 40 years old, single, my father is a retired police officer and my late mother was a teacher. Growing up as a child I excel in school academics and sports not until I reach my 3rd year Highschool that made my mother so disappointed. Before I encountered Jesus, I was living in sinfulness. I was a drunkard, chain smoker, involved in drugs, trouble maker, in to pornography, a womanizer and can easily influence other people to do so. Being confident that I won’t go to jail because my father was a police officer. I entered gangs and fraternities just to be popular and thought that true brotherhood and power can be found. I got so addicted in my love for football to the extent that I have taken for granted my academic subjects that resulted to failures. I am independent type of person; I always go my own way that made me rebellious and dishonored my parents. I used to manipulate people just to get I what I want and please other people to gain their approval. I thought I have the joy of doing all these things but deep inside there is discontentment, fear, loneliness and confusion. So, I started to find my purpose. Growing in a religious family , I was active in different ministries but I felt that there is something missing. I got baptized in a Christian church when I was in high school but never really understood the essence of it. In 2008 I was invited by a Christian friend to be a dance instructor in preparation of their church /Ministry event, without hesitation I said yes without any intention to get involved in their ministry. I met their youth Pastor, Manong Nilo who used to be a DJ and program director in GMA wherein my dance group used to perform. With Manong Nilo’s vision to influence the youth through dancing and with my desire to become an inspiration to the youth using my talent, I got involved into the ministry and influenced the youth. But then as time goes by, I felt that there is still something missing, so in 2009 I decided to leave the ministry and went to Manila hoping I could find that missing piece. I got involved again to troubles and immorality. I got into networking business hoping that it will give me contentment in life, it prospered but my relationship with God never prosper. In 2011 the business experienced tremendous attrition that pushes me and my business partner to go back to Bacolod hoping the business will flourish again but it didn’t work out the way we plan. I realize that the industry is not for me so I decided and tried to find another field of opportunities (real estate, online business, etc. ...) but then I was never contented and wasn’t happy because my passion wasn’t there. Until one day I was driving my friend’s car with a very high speed , I almost hit a truck along the way but thank God I drifted the car to avoid the dreadful collision, it became a turning point in my life and I called unto God and said I didn’t want to die not living my purpose. So, I decided to look for Manong Nilo and desired to go back to ministry works using my talent in dancing. At that time, he has a vision of organizing an evangelistic event to win more souls so out of nowhere I proposed to him the “last dance” and we organized it and fulfilled the vision under His life Ministries Planta. I started to love my mission of mobilizing people into the ministry and win more souls for the glory of God. From that moment on, I decided to stop all my vices, and started to desire and develop my relationship with God. Slowly God used me into different fields of the ministry to win more souls like sports and house churches. I was baptized again last August 18,2018 during our HC Family day Baptism under His life South Gaisano and totally surrendered my life to God through Jesus Christ, and decided not turn back to my old sinful ways and pursue righteousness. I am Edremel Maribo once was lost but now am found in Jesus Mighty Name. To God be All the Glory
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Aya Ysabelle J. Providencia
April 2019
My name is Aya Ysabelle J. Providencia. I have two loving parents and two great brothers, but believe it or not this is not what I thought of them before. I grew up in a Christian family knowing life was pretty close to perfect. Why? Because I have a great family and most of all I have God. I am the only girl in the family. Growing up, I had all the attention. To me, Life is perfect. Until one day back when I was in grade 3, I asked my mom how did their love story started. I was amused on how it all began until it reached in the chapter where the name Aya was mentioned. She told me that she and my dad weren't married when she conceived me. At that point, I started to feel rejected, unwanted and unplanned. Being the eldest, living in the past was hard. It seems that I was just like the product of big bang theory. As years passed by, the wound inside of me started to grow deeper and unknowingly I became resentful, bitter and insecure. I started comparing myself to others especially when my brother came along. The void became bigger thinking he is more loved, more concerned about rather than me. Till then, I had the mindset of one, my brother is the antagonist, and two, I should bring the attention back to me. Every little argument I had with my mom was a big issue to me. I lived every single day like it was a movie, I was the main character with villains around me. I lived that life for almost 5 years. Yes, they are there for me for recognitions and family days but it just felt ordinary. I served the Lord like it's something that is should be done and lived a so-called Christian life. As days go by, I could also feel guilt that I am taking God for granted. Like I never acknowledge him being there and yes, I call myself a Christian. Last 2017, summer came and so is camp. I was amused by the stories I heard from the last year's camp from the youth leaders. That year was my 2nd year being in YX. There testimonies overwhelmed me and persuaded me to join. Believe it or not, I came for fun. Yes, I did. I came in with a wrong motive and came out perfectly corrected. There, I experienced being blessed and rebuked. Blessed because of the learnings, experiences and all the people who made me realize that I shouldn't blame others because they are not my enemies. Rebuked in a way that all the words literally hit me hard and convict about many things. There is one session that literally made me bow to my knees. I like to call it “alabaster jar". In this session, we we're told to lay everything to God and I did. All the memories in the past keeps on rushing to me and made me feel guilty. Then God showed me in the vision of Jesus being crucified. And I was then reminded that I was loved by God, even before I was even born. I came at the world at the most unexpected, unplanned time by my Parents, but I was in God’s plan all along. I came in Gods perfect timing. Jeremiah 29:11 says that "For I know the Plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a better future. After that, I was refreshed and had my eyes open. I was fighting the wrong enemy after all. I came back home and tried Everything to fix all the broken relationships with my family. Though I'm not perfect. I still have flaws, a work in progress but God helped me restore our relationship. After camp, it urges me to enroll in LGT and there I learned more about the bible and doctrines. And now, I am in the care of my life group leader Manang Michel Forkner along with my sisters in Christ. They taught me a lot growing in this Ministry. Also, my parents whom we are now serving the Lord together, Teacher Theresa who has been there ever since, Kuya Eric, Tita Hazel and many more to mention. I belong to a big family in Christ. Once Again, I am Aya Ysabelle J. Providencia once felt abandoned and rejected now Loved, Accepted and Secured in Christ.
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Michel Forkner
June 10, 2021
Deuteronomy 6:5-9 (read)….5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Good morning everyone, my name is Michel Forkner.
I grew up in a household where our faith in God was being established, yet at the same time, being demolished. My mother was a Christian. But my father, wasn’t. It was a bit difficult because as a child whose character is still being developed, I was always caught in between my mom and dad’s contrasting principles. My father was against us mingling with people from church and attending the service itself. Whenever we would have our devotions at home or just simply talk about God, another beautiful and solemn conversation would turn in to an outrageous event. Despite of the difference between my parents, my mother did her best to convene and train us the way we should go. But it does not end there. As we grew up my mom ensure that we would have teachers and mentors who consistently remind and teach us of God’s Word and His ways, she would have small verses as designs on our doors to remind us while on the other hand my father has other thoughts about it. Life did not become easier. Why? Because learning and Knowing the truth makes you identify the difference between what’s right and wrong. Going through my teen age years was not an easy journey, it's not always a walking on the air type of journey, but rather a choice of fighting the good fight of faith as there would be many different kinds of influences, not only at home but everywhere especially in this era of technology.
By His grace, today, me, my mom and my sisters together with my grandma are here serving to magnify the One True God. We are still believing for the day that my father would come to encounter God. But for now, I am blessed to serve in the Lords vineyard as one of the worship leaders. Being a worship leader is not just about being skilled or talented. Though it is of utmost importance, to always want to give your best to be able to walk from glory to glory. You cannot give anything less for the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. But you also have to be a man or woman after God's own heart. And that means that we should know Him through His Word. It does not mean that I am perfect nor I do not fall short of the glory of God. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. There are days where I get disheartened and I just want to give up. There are days where connecting with God during worship can be difficult because of so many concerns. But every time when I feel like I have to sound good because people are looking up to me, I remember that, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, Colossians 3:23.” Whatever I go through in life, I lean on God’s word and that is because growing up, my mother instilled in me the Christian values and she never gave up guiding me to the path where I will know and meet God. I can only imagine what I could’ve turned out if my mother gave up on every trial that came our way. I know I still have a long way to go.
Just a little takeaway from my reflection, First and foremost pray, soak in His Words and make sure to set a time apart for The Father coz when you do you will never be able to cease to worship Him. Any missing piece of your identity will be filled up. Make sure to find your Identity in Christ. To the teachers, mentors and our spiritual parents continue being patient to us when discipling us, I believe God allowed us to meet and know you for a greater reason. To the parents, pls don’t give up on us, keep believing and praying for us coz there is power in a praying parent. You are our first teachers. I believe How a child is brought up, greatly relies on the household that he or she grows up in. Remember what you choose or decide today will also affect our tomorrow.
Like what Forest Gump says in the movie "life is like a box of chocolates you will never know what you get”. True as it is, but we, as a church, as one body of Christ, are a family and we are here to lift and help each other to come to know God more and more. Hebrews 10:24-25... And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. And lastly trust in the Lord… (Proverbs 3:5-6)” ..."Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths". When things seem not the way you planned or want it, Simply, Let go and let God. Once again, my name is Michel Forkner and I am a Child of God.
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Marie April Castillo
March 23, 2019
My name is Marie April Castillo, 29 years old, grew up in Cebu and stayed there for 26 years. I’m a single mother with 8 years old daughter. Before I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and savior I was driven by own freewill and fleshly desires. Growing up in the early years of my childhood, I can say that I have already experienced the challenges that lives brings; when I was in my mother’s womb, I was an unwanted, unexpected and unplanned child. That was my mother told me when I was 3 months old in her womb before she knew that I exist. Due to financial problems and some other family issues my parents always have an argument. When I was 6 months old after I was born, my mother left me, she brought with him my brother instead of me who needed a mother the most .She wanted to give up her relationship with my father but my father pursued her to come back and so she did come back. But still their arguments about money became worst. Me hearing this story from my mother deeply hurt me as her daughter. Imagine what a 6 months old baby could do without a mother to take good care of her, and I felt that I don’t deserve to be treated as such. So, as time went by not knowing that I started to be resentful to my mother and I can feel the rejection of my mother towards me so I always find a way to make her proud to gain her acceptance just to pleased her. But it made me become less confident towards people, I always think of myself less and full of insecurities. My parents are into business in the security industry because of their dedication and hard work it flourished and prospered. Because of the demands and pressure of the business and the desire to provide well with us and give us a better life both of them are too busy to the point that they are struggling to spend time with us and worst have no time to go to church. To compensate their absence, they all provided our needs and wants. But I’m longing for something that money can’t buy, I felt discontented, unloved, insecure and lonely. I started to explore the world alone hoping that I could find that contentment, love and security that I’m longing for. When I was in my college years, I started in a way to be independent. With my parents’ proper consent, trust and financial support I got to live far away from them to pursue my dream to become a Nurse. I saw the world in a different point of view, I got to meet different kind of people from the simplest, liberated and matured people of my age. To bring honor to my parent’s trust and financial support , in my first three years in college I was focused on my studies and not failing my subjects that sometimes led me to compromise just in order to pass my exams with the thought that its ok because most my friends are doing it. I was also influenced by my peers to drink alcohol and do immoral acts just to have a place where I belong and gain their acceptance even to the point of losing my identity. Through this fleshly desire I thought I already found what I was longing for but I still felt that discontentment and loneliness that I’ve been hiding at the back of the laughter and smiles when I’m with my friends. In the later part of my college years I met my very first formal boyfriend, I lost my focus on my studies and engage into pre-marital sex that I thought the love and security I was longing for can be found. After 8 months of that relationship I got pregnant in the midst of my review in taking my board exam in nursing. I got excited because it’s been always a desire for me to have a baby but I wasn’t expecting it will happen that early. With me and my partner being still immature to handle the responsibility I got so scared that came to a point of a thought of not keeping the baby. But through a Christian cousin she enlightened me on what to do, she told me that “wala sala ang bata, and a child is always a blessing from God”. So, with my fear to the Lord and in my experience as unwanted child I don’t want my child to experience the same way. From that moment on I kept my faith that everything will be alright that I will provide the love and care she deserves that has been deprived to me. So, I did everything to become the best mother I could be, I kept the relationship with his father and tried to work things out even though my family are against with it. I set aside my carrier as a nurse even if already passed the board that made my parents so frustrated and disappointed, I worked hard in our business so I can easily manage my time while taking good care of my child. But everything just doesn’t seem to go the way I want it to be. My Daughter’s father got involved t drugs that led his family to put him in rehabilitation facility, my daughter is always in and out of the hospital, my relationship with my family got even worse because we are too focused on the business. Then one day I cried out to the Lord. “kapoy naku Lord, I don’t know what to do anymore, I can’t do this own, I need You”. I asked the Lord to led me to people who will understand my struggles. The next day a friend invited me to a seminar called Christian Life Program under a ministry called Handmaids of the Lord. Without hesitation I attended the seminar and their I got to share my struggles as a single mother and they led me to the Lord. Slowly I regained my strength through them but deep inside of me there is still something that I really long for so I started to have a deep relationship with the Lord but never understand my motivation of that relationship. I got active to the ministry but after 1 year, being confident that I’m already with the Lord and with the desire that my daughter will not grow up without a father I decided to give another one more chance to my relationship with her father. With him being in the rehab for quite a long time, I thought he became already a changed mature man, ready to take his full responsibility as a father and a partner and thought I can make him change for the better. So, without consulting the Lord i decided to move in with him after he was discharged from the rehab facility. My parents weren’t sure about my decision but I convinced them to give us another chance to build our family. I informed my household leader about my decision and convinced her that nothing will happen to us until we get married. But then the spirit is willing but flesh is weak. My household leader asked me to lead a group but I told her I was living in sin at that time that I don’t deserve to be one. I lie low to the ministry but I asked the Lord to hold on to me and never let go of me, My spirit was in sorrow , I can feel that I was experiencing hell at that time, but with my own strength I still keep fighting for what I thought was right. My daughters father got into drugs again in the middle of the “tokhang” days. It really made me worried and my parents are already affected to. I had sleepless nights, my finances declined, my health declined and my relationship with God was very cloudy. Everything doesn’t seem to go the way I want it to be. Then one day I begged and cried to the Lord, to pull me out in the situation that I chose to be in. That, I don’t want to live in sin anymore. The next day my father visited me and told me if I’m interested to go to Bacolod to take over our business. At first, I was hesitant because my daughter might get affected of being away again to her father, but then I was reminded by my prayer. It was October 2016 with my heart full of doubts, confusion, anxieties of what will happen when I go to Bacolod, by faith I decided to go here in Bacolod together with my daughter. It was so difficult at first, being away with my family, with all separation anxiety, the adjustment in the language, culture and the environment. But God is so faithful that everything we need was provided food, shelter and everything to make our life better. I felt the spiritual dryness so I started praying to the Lord to led me to people or into the ministry that could help me grow spiritually, revive and restore my relationship with Him. It was late march 2017 as I was using the rest room here in the cinema for the first time someone gave me an invitation of a church service. I just kept that invitation on my wallet and by faith I attended the service without any single person that I know. It was April 15, 2017, without knowing they have a special feature of Dolphy Quezon Jr’s life testimony. I got so inspired and touched by his story that I responded to his altar call and can’t explain why I’m crying my heart out. From that moment on by faith, I decided to fully surrender my life to the Lord by accepting Jesus as my personal Lord and savior. I became a regular church goer and one Sunday I wrote a letter together my giving envelope that I want to be part of a discipleship group. God was so amazing, instantly He answered my prayer. As I was to leave the premises of the church, someone approached me and invited me to sit down and be part of her disciples. It really helped me a lot in my Cristian walk to grow more deeper in my relationship with God being in a discipleship group. I’m so blessed with my LG leader, the church leaders and to our Pastor who are really eager and willing pour out the word of God at their best to help me grow and the best part of all they became my 2nd family here in Bacolod. And with my willingness and desire to grow more spiritually, I undergone all the Cross courses in His Life Ministries and graduated LGT the same year. I got baptized last October 2017 during Bacolod for Jesus. Today I’m already leading beautiful women as my disciples, sharing God’s word and my testimony of God’s faithfulness and goodness in my life. By God’s amazing grace, Slowly God is restored my identity as her Princess, me as a mother of my daughter and restored my relationship with my family especially to my mother who was really against of me changing my Christian beliefs to the point that she wants to disowned me as her daughter but with love, obedience and by faith to follow God’s will for me I persevere and keep the faith through prayers by fulfilling God’s great commission through house churches and being part of different ministries. My mother who was once persecuted me is already one my supporter in my walk with the Lord. I’m Marie April Castillo once unwanted but now found my identity in Christ, according to Jeremiah 1:5 5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew[a] you, before you were born I set you apart; I have already found what my spirit is longing for through Jesus: the contentment, joy, love and security. Once driven by fleshly desires but now faith driven to finish the race, and fought the good fight with the Lord through His Son Jesus Christ. To God be all the Glory
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Edremel Maribo
March 8, 2019
I am Edremel Maribo, 40 years old, single, my father is a retired police officer and my late mother was a teacher. Growing up as a child I excel in school academics and sports not until I reach my 3rd year Highschool that made my mother so disappointed. Before I encountered Jesus, I was living in sinfulness. I was a drunkard, chain smoker, involved in drugs, trouble maker, in to pornography, a womanizer and can easily influence other people to do so. Being confident that I won’t go to jail because my father was a police officer. I entered gangs and fraternities just to be popular and thought that true brotherhood and power can be found. I got so addicted in my love for football to the extent that I have taken for granted my academic subjects that resulted to failures. I am independent type of person; I always go my own way that made me rebellious and dishonored my parents. I used to manipulate people just to get I what I want and please other people to gain their approval. I thought I have the joy of doing all these things but deep inside there is discontentment, fear, loneliness and confusion. So, I started to find my purpose. Growing in a religious family , I was active in different ministries but I felt that there is something missing. I got baptized in a Christian church when I was in high school but never really understood the essence of it. In 2008 I was invited by a Christian friend to be a dance instructor in preparation of their church /Ministry event, without hesitation I said yes without any intention to get involved in their ministry. I met their youth Pastor, Manong Nilo who used to be a DJ and program director in GMA wherein my dance group used to perform. With Manong Nilo’s vision to influence the youth through dancing and with my desire to become an inspiration to the youth using my talent, I got involved into the ministry and influenced the youth. But then as time goes by, I felt that there is still something missing, so in 2009 I decided to leave the ministry and went to Manila hoping I could find that missing piece. I got involved again to troubles and immorality. I got into networking business hoping that it will give me contentment in life, it prospered but my relationship with God never prosper. In 2011 the business experienced tremendous attrition that pushes me and my business partner to go back to Bacolod hoping the business will flourish again but it didn’t work out the way we plan. I realize that the industry is not for me so I decided and tried to find another field of opportunities (real estate, online business, etc. ...) but then I was never contented and wasn’t happy because my passion wasn’t there. Until one day I was driving my friend’s car with a very high speed , I almost hit a truck along the way but thank God I drifted the car to avoid the dreadful collision, it became a turning point in my life and I called unto God and said I didn’t want to die not living my purpose. So, I decided to look for Manong Nilo and desired to go back to ministry works using my talent in dancing. At that time, he has a vision of organizing an evangelistic event to win more souls so out of nowhere I proposed to him the “last dance” and we organized it and fulfilled the vision under His life Ministries Planta. I started to love my mission of mobilizing people into the ministry and win more souls for the glory of God. From that moment on, I decided to stop all my vices, and started to desire and develop my relationship with God. Slowly God used me into different fields of the ministry to win more souls like sports and house churches. I was baptized again last August 18,2018 during our HC Family day Baptism under His life South Gaisano and totally surrendered my life to God through Jesus Christ, and decided not turn back to my old sinful ways and pursue righteousness. I am Edremel Maribo once was lost but now am found in Jesus Mighty Name. To God be All the Glory
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Aya Ysabelle J. Providencia
April 2019
My name is Aya Ysabelle J. Providencia. I have two loving parents and two great brothers, but believe it or not this is not what I thought of them before. I grew up in a Christian family knowing life was pretty close to perfect. Why? Because I have a great family and most of all I have God. I am the only girl in the family. Growing up, I had all the attention. To me, Life is perfect. Until one day back when I was in grade 3, I asked my mom how did their love story started. I was amused on how it all began until it reached in the chapter where the name Aya was mentioned. She told me that she and my dad weren't married when she conceived me. At that point, I started to feel rejected, unwanted and unplanned. Being the eldest, living in the past was hard. It seems that I was just like the product of big bang theory. As years passed by, the wound inside of me started to grow deeper and unknowingly I became resentful, bitter and insecure. I started comparing myself to others especially when my brother came along. The void became bigger thinking he is more loved, more concerned about rather than me. Till then, I had the mindset of one, my brother is the antagonist, and two, I should bring the attention back to me. Every little argument I had with my mom was a big issue to me. I lived every single day like it was a movie, I was the main character with villains around me. I lived that life for almost 5 years. Yes, they are there for me for recognitions and family days but it just felt ordinary. I served the Lord like it's something that is should be done and lived a so-called Christian life. As days go by, I could also feel guilt that I am taking God for granted. Like I never acknowledge him being there and yes, I call myself a Christian. Last 2017, summer came and so is camp. I was amused by the stories I heard from the last year's camp from the youth leaders. That year was my 2nd year being in YX. There testimonies overwhelmed me and persuaded me to join. Believe it or not, I came for fun. Yes, I did. I came in with a wrong motive and came out perfectly corrected. There, I experienced being blessed and rebuked. Blessed because of the learnings, experiences and all the people who made me realize that I shouldn't blame others because they are not my enemies. Rebuked in a way that all the words literally hit me hard and convict about many things. There is one session that literally made me bow to my knees. I like to call it “alabaster jar". In this session, we we're told to lay everything to God and I did. All the memories in the past keeps on rushing to me and made me feel guilty. Then God showed me in the vision of Jesus being crucified. And I was then reminded that I was loved by God, even before I was even born. I came at the world at the most unexpected, unplanned time by my Parents, but I was in God’s plan all along. I came in Gods perfect timing. Jeremiah 29:11 says that "For I know the Plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a better future. After that, I was refreshed and had my eyes open. I was fighting the wrong enemy after all. I came back home and tried Everything to fix all the broken relationships with my family. Though I'm not perfect. I still have flaws, a work in progress but God helped me restore our relationship. After camp, it urges me to enroll in LGT and there I learned more about the bible and doctrines. And now, I am in the care of my life group leader Manang Michel Forkner along with my sisters in Christ. They taught me a lot growing in this Ministry. Also, my parents whom we are now serving the Lord together, Teacher Theresa who has been there ever since, Kuya Eric, Tita Hazel and many more to mention. I belong to a big family in Christ. Once Again, I am Aya Ysabelle J. Providencia once felt abandoned and rejected now Loved, Accepted and Secured in Christ.
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Michel Forkner
June 10, 2021
Deuteronomy 6:5-9 (read)….5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.
Good morning everyone, my name is Michel Forkner.
I grew up in a household where our faith in God was being established, yet at the same time, being demolished. My mother was a Christian. But my father, wasn’t. It was a bit difficult because as a child whose character is still being developed, I was always caught in between my mom and dad’s contrasting principles. My father was against us mingling with people from church and attending the service itself. Whenever we would have our devotions at home or just simply talk about God, another beautiful and solemn conversation would turn in to an outrageous event. Despite of the difference between my parents, my mother did her best to convene and train us the way we should go. But it does not end there. As we grew up my mom ensure that we would have teachers and mentors who consistently remind and teach us of God’s Word and His ways, she would have small verses as designs on our doors to remind us while on the other hand my father has other thoughts about it. Life did not become easier. Why? Because learning and Knowing the truth makes you identify the difference between what’s right and wrong. Going through my teen age years was not an easy journey, it's not always a walking on the air type of journey, but rather a choice of fighting the good fight of faith as there would be many different kinds of influences, not only at home but everywhere especially in this era of technology.
By His grace, today, me, my mom and my sisters together with my grandma are here serving to magnify the One True God. We are still believing for the day that my father would come to encounter God. But for now, I am blessed to serve in the Lords vineyard as one of the worship leaders. Being a worship leader is not just about being skilled or talented. Though it is of utmost importance, to always want to give your best to be able to walk from glory to glory. You cannot give anything less for the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. But you also have to be a man or woman after God's own heart. And that means that we should know Him through His Word. It does not mean that I am perfect nor I do not fall short of the glory of God. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. There are days where I get disheartened and I just want to give up. There are days where connecting with God during worship can be difficult because of so many concerns. But every time when I feel like I have to sound good because people are looking up to me, I remember that, “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, Colossians 3:23.” Whatever I go through in life, I lean on God’s word and that is because growing up, my mother instilled in me the Christian values and she never gave up guiding me to the path where I will know and meet God. I can only imagine what I could’ve turned out if my mother gave up on every trial that came our way. I know I still have a long way to go.
Just a little takeaway from my reflection, First and foremost pray, soak in His Words and make sure to set a time apart for The Father coz when you do you will never be able to cease to worship Him. Any missing piece of your identity will be filled up. Make sure to find your Identity in Christ. To the teachers, mentors and our spiritual parents continue being patient to us when discipling us, I believe God allowed us to meet and know you for a greater reason. To the parents, pls don’t give up on us, keep believing and praying for us coz there is power in a praying parent. You are our first teachers. I believe How a child is brought up, greatly relies on the household that he or she grows up in. Remember what you choose or decide today will also affect our tomorrow.
Like what Forest Gump says in the movie "life is like a box of chocolates you will never know what you get”. True as it is, but we, as a church, as one body of Christ, are a family and we are here to lift and help each other to come to know God more and more. Hebrews 10:24-25... And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. And lastly trust in the Lord… (Proverbs 3:5-6)” ..."Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths". When things seem not the way you planned or want it, Simply, Let go and let God. Once again, my name is Michel Forkner and I am a Child of God.
